`friday => went to run errands with my mother dearest. home. took a nap. waited til my dad got home for the car. meanwhile, talked to sis-E on the phone. boy were we trippen out. got ready. left to pick sis-e up in phillips ranch. went to steve's partAy, which was literally down my street. [yah, i drove to phillips ranch then back to my area.. see how much i love ya sis-e! haha] mark, alex, brian, jeff, robert and them doods were there already. started off big already. more and more and more people kept coming. everyone and their moms were there. me and nique took our first shot with mark. . then i was drinking mark's drink. cause hes uber awesome like that. after a while, me and nique went to the garage. i grabbed robert and i started dancing with him and nique danced with jeff. we literally started the dancing  cause no one was! "THATS HOW WE DO!" then i went outside and hung out with jeff, mark, steve, alex, robert, and those guys who were watching the door. they started  charging. the house was full. i saw soo many people. i drank some more. danced some more. with jasper then mark. . the party was going well until a fight broke out. alex. darn. then kuya chris was saying the party was over, but no one really left. hung out in the backyard with jasper, erwin, ervin, melvin and those guys. who knows where monique was?! haha. JUST KIDDING! thennn, i heard brian yelling for everyone to get out. something bad happened. really bad. i started tearing and gary walked me out to my car. i was so scared. after, we were still gona hang out with jasper and all of them, but they were going opposite direction. met up with gary, richmond and jeff. then took nique home. then headed home myself. the party would've been awesome if some stupid ass mexican guys didn't decide to start shit!  

`please keep my friend robert in your prayers.

ill post the pictures up later. its lagging.

`i'm backkk! here was my trip over the weekend.

`friday= dad dropped me off at cal poly. we all left for lax. the marriott was niiiice. we ate lunch, buffet style suckah!  then we went to a conference. me and christie[my roomie] went to our room and hung around. then ryan came up to our room and hung out with us til we had dinner at 5:00. good stuff mayan. totally good stuff. then after dinner, we went back to our room, ryan came too, again. around 9:00 we went down to the foyer for the social. we mingled and what not. went back to the room and watched tv. so it was me, christie, ryan, cristian and jose. david and darryl went to a club and then to some frat party they heard about without us. . we just talked and talked and laughed and laughed. cristian kept trying to convince us to go to his room cause he has a better view on his balcony, buuuut we didn't. haha. ryan ended up sleeping in our room.

`saturday= woke up before christie and ryan. got ready. waited for them to get ready then headed down for breakfast. met up with everyone else [jesse, cristian, david ,darryl, alicia, ray, vanessa, stephen, tim, jose, wes, kristine, bianca..etc] went to a conference. me, ryan, christie and cristian took a break. then went to another conference. we had lunch. then another conference. we [me and christie and david] then went to jose and wes's room. watched tv for a little. i decided to go back to our room to catch a little snooze, and christie decided to come with. i fell asleep while we were watching 10 things i hate about you. suddenly, i wake up to a knock on the door. it was cristian.  he stayed in our room til we had dinner at 6:00. aftre dinner we went to cristian and david's room and me and david were on the balcony looking for a shooting star. haha. went down to the foyer around 9:30 for another social. played around in the elevators. funn times! three guys from slo [san louis obispo] introduced themselves to me and christie. eew! haha. then around 11:00, after a longgggg time of deciding, we all went out. there was 13 of us who wanted to go out but not that many cars. so 7 of us bunched up in a car. a rav 4. david and tim sat in trunk part. walked around the outdoor mall and went to the pier. its sooo pretty there. me and christie and tim went into a store and i saw livestrong bands. annnnnnd, i found one that said "LOVE LIFE". guess what?! i bought it! darn skippay. i was all excited. tim was wondering why, and i told him about the past and what "love life" meant to me now. he laughed and said "well, that can act as your strength now. it can remind you how strong you are and remind you how much you are loving your life now with him not in it causing you all the misery you never deserved." awww, so sweet tim! haha. anyways, went back to the hotel around 12:30. me and christie decided to throw a little "gathering" in our room, it being our last night there. soo everyone came to our room. we pushed the beds together and had one gimongous sleep-over. it was sooo much fun. KINGS is such a kick ass game. by the end of it, we were alll drunk. haha. we didnt go to bed til 4:30 and we had to wake up at 7.

`sunday= cleaned up the room and threw away the bottles. dannng did we drink a lot. smirnoff and beer bottles all over our room. put the beds back and then got ready. met everyone up at the lobby. then ate breakfast at denny's then off to go back home.

`overall, my weekend was sooooo fun-filled. i enjoyed every minute of it, though i was pessimistic about leaving the area, which i was soo accustomed to. in the end, i had a blast! i wouldn't mind living that life. not one bit. and everyone else too. cristian and david and me especially. so we are thinking about it really hard. met a lot of great new people and yuuup.

heres two pictures of some of the group when we went out at night. sorry its blurry.

http://www.ofoto.com/PhotoView.jsp?collid=14667906706&photoid=73667906706&&refreshkey=1106009892286

`alright. well i am all packed up now.im ready to go for the weekend.

*sigh* there are just some people i wish i could've kicked it with or at least talked to on the phone [ritz,olie,cory,kc,jmar,pat,mike,aaron,ace,]. but a special thank you goes out to ritz and cory. ritz, thanks for our conversation the other night. though it wasn't much, it still meant a lot. to cory, thank you for texting me and i really do miss g.o.p -ing with you and just doing crazy things.

`its sort of just testing the waters for me, so to speak. too much around here reminds me of what used to be. i need a new environment. the weekend will be somewhat a feel of the change that i need. who knows?!but you guys are right. i shouldnt give up everything i have because of someone who wasn't even that great, but im not giving anything up. im actually gaining a lot. i am better off without. he just caused me misery for a long time. to many of you, it seemed as if i was led on. i will not agree nor will i disagree with that. all i know is that i deserve better, and so does he. what i am looking for he can not provide, and what he is looking for, i can not provide. heck, he already found it fresh off the boat. haha. ok. ill stop.

`this week of school has been quite exciting. sis-e monique knows why. let me just say it deals with a lot of J's. hahaha. buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, the main J is JIMMY! haha. such a random name for such a cuuuuuuuuute guy. walked in wednesday morning into the building and he was the only one there. fate?! haha. j/k. so i walked towards him, put my bag down and we started talking. about homework, but still. i progressed. i wasn't THAT shy anymore. he dressed well, smelled soo good and dang, he was just cute overall. haha. after class, his lab partner kept talking to me. he kept asking me questions and jimmy and i kept making eye contact and smiling. wowzers. his smile is a killer. haha. soo i can't wait until wednesday again.

`alright guys. im off for the weekend. take it easy. dont party too much [esp. since im not around..haha]. and drive safely. 'til i get back.

ill leave off with this song. its how i feel.

If I dont pick up the phone like I used to (for you) dont you take it personal
if I dont do all the things that I used to do (to you) I aint mad at you
if you get to feeling stressed up in your chest thinking that you about to lose
(baby its true) and if you losing out on sleep on worrying about me this how it be if you dont know now you know youre gonna miss (my love) and i aint stressing bout a dog gone thing cause i was true when i gave you (my love)
if you search you will never find another love like ( my love) youre gonna miss me i aint got time while you sit around and play with my (my love)
IF YOU THINK I CAUGHT A FEELING WHEN I HEARD ABOUT THAT OTHER CHICK (NO)i already knew about it i just needed time
just to clear my mind and ask myself (why i didnt handle him)
if you wouldve taken care of home instead of leaving me alone (I) still would be right there with you taking care of you instead of loving you like i used to do if you dont know now you know youre gonna miss (my love)
and i aint stressing bout a dog gone thing cause i was true when i gave you (my love) if you search you will never find another love like ( my love)
youre gonna miss me  aint got time while you sit around and play with my (my love)there once was a time i blamed myself for what was wrong (i can see so clearly now because you are gone) thats how i spent all my time when you werent home (playing around with THAT RAGGEDY HEFFER) therell be no more stressing no more crying no more trying I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE (Id rather be all by myself yeah) cause this valuable heart of mine was yours until i realized finally opened my eyes **you see ladies
i know i knew better what was i thinking?**he gon miss me when im gone

LOVES! ¢¾

`got ready. hopped in my car. mom says "your tire is flat" i get out of my car and holy crappp was my tire flat. haha. it was 9:15 and i had class at 10:00, so i called brian, but he was still sleeping. called mark, but his phone was off. called robert, and he picked up second time. he says "ill wake mark up." haha. what a dork. but i didnt want him to do that, so i got a ride with my god-sister/neighbor. we had a good convo. thought "ahem" was cute. said to drop duck and go for "ahem." got to class. i swear, my math teacher is literally on crack. haha. got out early. went to pool hall. saw geoff,edward, edwin,andrew, mike, allan, april, and ariel. walked geoff to class. then waited for howard. he picked me up. ate lunch at l&l. saw jhunne and matt and jason [jc's cousin who still remembered me] a bunch of "jailbaits" were there. funn times with howard. went back to cal poly. he walked me to my 2:00 class. still didn't get that guys name. we just smiled at each other and had small talk. thursday, for sure! met up with ate ethel. gooooood convo. very nice. she dropped me off home. and now i have to write a paper. booo!

~> not having a car sucks major glutts. i hope my dad changes my tire quick status. OH! its wednesday too! you know what that means= chem lab in the morning= cute guy=melanie has to step it up and actually talk to him. hahaha.

here are the pictures from outback, like i said i would post.

http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=33200674706&page=1&sort_order=0

i was going to update yesterday about the weekend, but by the time i got home, i was really tired. so here it goes.

`saturday:: did nothing but bum around the house. sleep. talk to sisy for the longest time. "PRESS POUND!" haha. then got ready. left the house around 9:15. swung by the apartment. picked up brian. then off to phillips ranch to pick sisy up. then to rancho laguna. dood, there were sooo many people at that party. i drank like no other. had about 4 jello shots, a shot of bacardi vodka [a little more than a shot], drinks of corona, cup of malibu, and a cup of coke and rum [more rum than coke]. i was good for the night. saw ryan, andrew, anthony, stephanie, tiffany, tesha, jennifer, oliver [who we both couldnt remember where we met each other] and other people. ryan accused me of having sars [haha!]. me and sisy hung around outside IN the rain waiting for melvin to get there. while outside, i was introducing myself to every person walking in. ryan told people to not let me smoke. haha. one guy told me "hi im.... you're beautiful" haha. i forgot his name. went back in after getting wet, hence why i am getting sick. met casey from cal state fullerton. he was a cutie but yet i don't know if he's gay?! haha. after a while, i went on the phone. BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE. then i left and brian drove me to village loop area. i honked like no other. then we went back to the party. i saw robert and mark and steve, who finally came. then brian drove my car back to the apartment. i wouldve just crashed there, but i wanted to sleep in my own bed. drove home. overall, night was awesome. partied with my sisy, ate turned 22, saw a lot of NICE looking people.

party in phillips ranch.

http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=72411644706

`sunday:: woke up with not so much of a hangover. went to church at holy angels, where i saw alex. went to santa anita mall, where i got pissed at a driver and called her a bitch and flipped off in front of my  mom, but it was okay cause my mom called her a bitch too. my mom wanted to scratch her car. haha. it was funny. ate at cpk. did some shopping. i am indeed low on dough. ive spent more than i ever did within the last 3 weeks. picked up my dad. went home. took a nap. waited for robert, brian, and mark to pick me up. brian decided to play with my head and said that robert and mark couldnt be found. in reality they were in front of my house. look at that tomfoolery! =P. parentals like them a lot. think they're decent guys. "they're not like duck. they don't look like gangsters. they don't look like they want to attract fights." haha. soo TRUE!! anyways, went to outback where everyone was at already. we [me, robert, mark and brian] had our own booth. ordering was a kick. robert:"can we have menus?" waiter: "they're right over there" robert:"i want this drink." brian :" thats a bitch drink" waiter:"actually its a really good drink. im a bitch too." brian: [slants wrist] "i am too. only on sundays." hahahahaha. omg so funny. then mark orders for me and robert cause we couldnt figure out what we wanted. overall, it was funn times. they took me home and i went kinda "over the loop" at night.  **the pictures are taking forever to upload. i will post pictures from outback as soon as i can.**

`` "i have a crush on you. i get a rush when im with you." ahhhh. im starting to have it really bad. guards are up though. approaching things differently. has the looks and personality. not just one and not the other, so basically, not like duck, who lacked both. hahaha.

LOVES